


after - a draco malfoy story

by sincerelyrainyy



Category: Cedric Diggory - Fandom, Draco Malfoy - Fandom, Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Action, Adventure, F/M, Harry Potter - Freeform, Hogwarts, Malfoy, Romance, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:47:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 16,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27695774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sincerelyrainyy/pseuds/sincerelyrainyy
Summary: Things are hard when you’re the new girl. Catherine Bailey is a transfer student at Ilvernmory looking for a new life at Hogwarts. But she gets distracted by a new person, and doesn’t want to realize what she’s getting herself into.
Relationships: Romantic - Relationship, indecisive - Relationship, star crossed - Relationship





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> author’s note: hey! i’m rain :) sooo i wrote this for a friends bday in september so i apologize if the first couple chapters are awful bc i had literally no idea what this was going to be about until like chapter 10 SO BARE WITH ME and trust the process, i promise it gets better. i’ll probably get around to rewriting the beginning after i finish the story. i have a lot of plans for this story and so i hope you enjoy!

Preface

Looking out the window, it looks wet and gray. Gross. It was much nicer in America. Suddenly, I feel a cold rush come over me. A tall, dark, mysterious figure enters the reflection of the window. He smiles, and continues to ask: “Is this seat taken?” I quickly turned around to put a face to the person I saw in the window.  
“No, it's free,” I stutter out.  
“An American? What do you suppose you’re doing on a train to Hogwarts?”  
“I’m a transfer student, from Ilvermorny.” My parents are here for their jobs at the Ministry, so we thought it would be easier for us to enroll me here.”  
“I see. What house?”  
“Thunderbird.”  
“There isn’t a Thunderbird house here,” he smirks, “so you’ll probably have to get resorted with all the first years.”  
“Oh,” I say. I hope that the sorting process won't be as hard as it was back home.   
As soon as he gets up to leave, I realize that I never got his name. But he is now forever going to be stuck in my thoughts. The figure in the window. The blond, beautiful, mystery guy. Shit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so like i said in the beginning these first couple chapters are complete shit so stay with me for these i promise it gets better

I step off the train and look up to see a huge mob of students swarming the area. I spot a giant, taller than everyone, calling out for the first years. Trying to follow the sound of this giant, I keep getting pushed around by all the commotion. Finally, I manage to meet up with the other students, but everything is moving too fast. But then, I see it. The tall, beautiful structure of the school. I’ve waited to come here for so long, but now it's actually happening. This is nothing like anything I’ve ever seen before. 

~~~

The dining hall is like everything I’ve ever imagined. The candles light up the whole room, and the warm, soft, mouthwatering smell of freshly cooked food. I feel almost like this is home. Then a tall, kind looking woman approaches me.  
“You must be Catherine,” the woman says, smiling slowly. “I’m Professor McGonagall. It's so lovely to have you here.”  
“Thank you,” I say. She ushers me to a long line of first years, and places me at the back.  
“This is the line for the Sorting Hat, which is how we will determine your new house. All you have to do is let the hat do it's thing, and you’ll be on your way.”  
“Perfect. Thank you so much.” I say, hoping that this will be easy.  
“Catherine Bailey?” Professor McGonagall calls out. That’s me, I think to myself. I walk myself up to the platform and sit myself down onto the chair. She places the hat onto my head, and suddenly I feel like the whole world can hear my thoughts. My heart is beating out of my chest.  
“I see courage and strength, and kindness-, but controlling.” I’m not controlling! Wait, am I? You think quietly to yourself.  
“SLYTHERIN!” The hat screams. It startles me, but I get up from the chair and make my way over to the table swarmed with people in green cloaks. I sit down slowly, trying to memorize every face and name all at once, but it's much too stressful. An arm wraps around my shoulder, and I look to my left to see who it belongs to.  
“Welcome to Slytherin,” he says. It's him. The guy from the train. My heart is beating a million miles an hour as he squeezes me tight.  
“Thank you,” I say, smiling back at him just a bit too big. “I realized on the train, I never got the chance to introduce myself. I’m-”  
“Catherine Bailey, transfer of Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, daughter of parents who moved here for their jobs at the Ministry. I think I know who you are,” he smirks.  
“It’s Catie, actually,” I say, still surprised that he remembered that much about me.  
“Forgive me, Catie,” he says.  
“And you are?”  
“Malfoy. Draco Malfoy,” he says shaking my hand. “Happy to be of service.” He grabs what looks like a pastry with meat inside the middle and pops it into his mouth. He starts a conversation with some of the other people at his table, working his way around each and every plate of food there is to offer. I’m so mad that I let him get to me. Shit. That’s just another thing to worry about.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, sorry for the trash writing, BUT KEEP READING

After dinner, I walk back to the common room with all the other girls. Once we get there, I see that all of my stuff is laying on my bed, including my cat Louis. I am so happy to see him. He starts to purr once I pick him up.   
“Ah I love cats,” a girl with bouncing curls says to me as she walks over. She sits down on my bed and motions towards Louis. I pick him up and hand him to her, making sure that he’s comfortable. “I’m Anika,” the girl says. “You’re Catherine, right?”  
“Catie, but yeah, that's me,” I say. She reaches out to shake my hand, still cuddling Louis in the other arm. I take it, and she smiles. Louis’ purring seems to fill the awkward silence between us. “I think he likes you,” I say, smiling.   
“Yea, I think so too,” she says. She sets Louis down on the bed and brushes the cat hair off her clothes. “Hey, Bella and I were about to go down to the showers to freshen up a bit, if you wanted to come,” Anika says, motioning to another blonde girl writing in a notebook.  
“That would be great. I’m still trying to figure out my way around this place,” I laugh.

We walk down a long winding section of hallways and finally get to a room marked   
WASHROOM. Anika opens the door and a giant room filled with girls comes into view. There are almost 50 showers on each side of me, and there are people everywhere. Girls fixing their hair, messing with all sorts of skin products, and gossiping about who knows what. Anika and Bella head over to one of the many sinks, and instantly start talking. I’m only listening to bits and pieces of their conversation, but from what I’m getting, it seems like Anika is complaining.  
“Yeah and so he took me to that one ice cream place in Diagon Alley and the vibe just seemed super off. Like it just felt so awkward and I have no idea why. I mean, we’ve been talking on and off for like six months now and he hasn’t even tried to kiss me yet. Like what am I supposed to do?” Anika says, looking for someone's opinion, but clearly not getting very far. I run the water so I can brush my teeth. “Catie, what do you think I should do?” Anika asks me. To be honest, I wasn’t paying attention so I really didn't know what to say.  
“I mean if you don’t feel like you're happy with what you have then maybe take a break?”   
“You are literally a genius. I’m going to send him an owl tomorrow,” Anika smiles. She hugs me from behind. As I start to braid one side of my hair, she keeps talking. I notice that Bella doesn’t seem to talk that much, but that's probably one of the reasons why she’s friends with Anika. She’s a listener, not a talker. I finish my hair, and slowly decide to slip out of the washroom. I wander around a bit and try to make my way back to the common room, but it seems that the more turns I take, the more lost I get. After a while of wandering around, I find myself climbing a long set of stairs and reaching what seems to look like an observatory. I can’t really tell because all the curtains are closed, but I imagine what it would be like if only the curtains were open. I set my stuff down in the middle of the hardwood floors and lay on my back and stare up at the blank sky. I sit there for a while, attempting to gather my thoughts, but then I hear footsteps getting closer and closer. The person opens the door, and I catch a glimpse of a yellow scarf.   
“I don’t think I was expecting any company,” The voice says, sounding low and musky. “But, you would have a much better view if you opened things up a little.” I hear a lever being pulled, and the curtain retracts. It reveals a bitter light, so bright I have to shield my eyes. It’s nothing like I’ve ever seen before in my life.   
“Wow,” I spit out, not having any words.   
“Yeah, pretty cool right?” The guy says, looking directly at me. His eyes seem to glimmer in the light, looking so golden.   
“I’m sorry to intrude on you like this, I just got really lost and I wasn’t sure which way to go, so I came here because I knew I wasn’t going to find my house, so-”   
“It's ok,” He says. “It's nice to meet someone new once in a while.” He takes off his jacket and places it on the ground. Ever so gently, he sits down and places his head on his coat. His eyes meet mine, and it feels almost like he’s pulling me into some sort of trap, yet I feel so safe. Like I could trust this stranger with anything. I look away, breaking the eye contact, and I shudder.  
“I’m Catie,” I say.   
“Cedric,” he says, taking my hand and shaking it ever so slightly. His hands are warm, like spring. He turns back over onto his back, releasing his hand from mine. The cold seeps back in, and a tingling sensation is left where he grazed my hand with his grip. “Can I ask you something?” He asks.   
“Yeah, of course,” I say, smiling. I can feel myself getting closer and closer to him.   
“What’s America like?” Cedric asks. This was definitely not the question I was expecting.   
“Oh,” I say, trying to gather up my words. “Well, it's very different than here. It’s sunny almost everyday, but everything is so busy. It seems like people constantly seem to be moving at such a fast pace, that no one stops and listens to anyone else. No one is slowing down.” He turns back to face me, beckoning for me to keep talking. “Why do you want to know so much about America?”  
“My dad moved there when I was little, and left our family behind. My mother says he wanted to explore new possibilities, but I don’t believe that for a second.’  
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” I say.   
“You don’t have to apologize. It’s not your fault that he left. But I want to know more about where he is.” I talk about how you have to pay so many bills and how much poverty there is, but also politics and big cities and companies. It feels like forever ago that I was there, but Cedric seems to be interested in every sentence that comes out of my mouth.   
“You know what, Catie,” he interrupts, “you are probably the nicest Slytherin I have ever met.” I’m confused.   
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask.   
“Well, Slytherin kind of has a reputation for creating a lot of problems. For example, you know about You Know Who, right?”  
“Who, you mean Voldemort?”  
“Shh! Don’t say that too loud,” Cedric warns.   
“Why not? It's just a name,” I say, wondering why he reacted like that.   
“Just, don’t go around saying that name in everyday conversations. Anyways, he has a group of wizards working for him called Death Eaters. Some say there might be some in our year.. No one really knows who they are or what they do. But I know that they just do all the dirty work for You Know Who,” Cedric says, sitting up.   
“And most of these ‘Death Eaters’” I say in air quotes, “are from Slytherin?”  
“All of them are. Pretty much everyone in the other houses don’t like Slytherin. They’re usually not the best to be around.”  
“So you’re saying I’m not the best to be around because I somehow work for Him?” I say.  
“No, no you’re one of the good ones,” He explains, still trying to save himself.  
“Oh, so there are good ones and bad ones now?” I contradict, trying to mess with his head.  
“No, you don’t understand-” he stutters.  
“I think I understand completely,” I say, laughing even louder.   
“Shhh! Quiet down, we don’t want the whole school to know we’re in here!” He says, smiling. I giggle, and our eyes lock again. He smiles, and looks away. 

“I think that we should start to head back,” he says suddenly. He stands up, and grabs his jacket from the floor.   
“Yeah, ok,” I say. I stand up and stretch. I can almost see the sun coming over the horizon, and I know that I’ll need to be up in a few hours. We head down the steps, and he offers to walk me back to my dorm. We walk in silence, but as we get closer to the entrance, he stops me.  
“Thank you,” he says.  
“For what?” I ask, confused.  
“For stealing my secret thinking spot. I had a lot of fun.” A smile creeps onto his face.  
“Yeah, anytime. I guess I’ll see you around then,” I say, smiling back.  
“Yeah, see you,” Cedric says. He pivots on his heel and puts his hands in his pockets, and walks down the hallway, slowly dissolving into the fog of the night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just bare with me folks

I wake up to someone shaking me vigorously. Of course, it's Anika. My head is fuzzy from sitting up too fast and so many things are moving all at once. She says that I missed breakfast from sleeping in and that I was going to be late for Charms. I get handed a banana and my robes and get hurried to get dressed.   
“Come on, you have to get up! Snape hates it when we’re late!” Anika says.   
“Okay, okay, just give me a minute,” I say, still yawning.  
“We don’t have a minute! Now get your ass up!” She helps me change into my uniform and brushes my hair to try and make it look presentable. I throw it into a messy bun, grab my glasses, and race after the other girls. By the time we get there, we are the last people to sit down. But thankfully, I see a familiar face in the crowd. Cedric smiles as I walk over, almost blushing, which automatically makes me blush even harder.  
“Hey,” he says, helping me with my things, “did you oversleep?”  
“Yeah, I didn’t intend to,” I explain.   
“Is that a conversation that is cared to be shared with the class, Mr Diggory?” A tall, dark haired man says.   
“No, sorry Professor Snape,” Cedric says.  
“10 points from Hufflepuff. As for you, Ms Bailey, I suggest that you get to work.” He walks back over to his desk, taunting as ever.   
“So much for an introduction,” I mutter under my breath. Cedric snorts, which makes me laugh a little. But it all comes to a stop when Snape is giving us the death stare. I decide it’s actually time to make a decision and listen. Besides, I was top of my class at Ilvermorny and I’m already behind. Snape drones on about different potion recipes and I try to scribble down as much as I can, but my mind is somewhere else. Thankfully, class gets dismissed before I can fall back to sleep. We start to back up our things and head to our next class, which for me, is Herbology, Cedric taps my shoulder.   
“See you later,” he says, and walks out the door. But before I can even respond, he is lost in the sea of people.   
“Oooh, who was that?” Anika says, meeting me in the hallway.  
“Nothing. I don’t know what you're talking about,” I deny. I really don’t want to talk about this.   
“You and Cedric, huh,” she says, “I thought he didn’t date Slytherins.”  
“We aren’t dating, we’re just friends,” I say, trying to change the subject.  
“Riiiight. ‘Just friends,’” Anika says in air quotes. “Honestly I don’t think it's worth it. Boys can be such a mess.”  
“So I’m guessing things didn’t end well with that guy you were talking to?” I ask.   
“You mean Dean? Yeah. He wrote me back saying that he didn’t really want to put a label on things until he actually knows what he wants. I mean, it's been six months. How much more time do you need?”   
“Ouch, I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be, I already have my eye on someone else,” she says, eyeing a muscular guy down the hallway. Wow, she moves on quickly, I think to myself. “Anyways, I got Charms next. See you at lunch?”  
“Yeah, see you,” I say. She heads down another twisty hallway. I now need to just figure out where I’m going. I make my way around a few twists and turns, but I’m still terribly lost. I look around the hallway trying to figure out exactly where I am, but something else distracts me. It’s him. We lock eyes for just a second, and then he looks away. That's weird. I thought he would at least say hello. I walk over to him anyways, thinking that he might be able to help me get to my next class.   
“Hey Draco,” I say.   
“Oh, Catie, hi,” he says. His cheeks turn red, but I can tell he’s trying to hide it.  
“I was wondering if you could help me find Flitwick’s class. I’ve been trying to find it, but it seems every step I take makes me even more lost.”  
“Down that hallway, second door on your left,” he says. Draco then walks away swiftly, almost like our conversation never happened.  
“Uh, thanks!” I call after him. As I walk down the hallway and find the door, all I can think about is a reason why he wouldn’t want to talk to me, or even act like that. But it's time to focus on other things besides Draco. He isn’t my main priority right now. 

After Charms, I find Anika at lunch, talking to another group of girls. I sit down next to her, trying to understand the ongoing conversation.   
“-stood there for the rest of class not knowing a single thing about what we were supposed to be doing. And I ask him what to do but he says it's MY fault for not paying attention and that I should listen to him. So he gives me detention. For two whole weeks! Like I have other important things going on! Oh, hey Catie- but the guy is so annoying!”   
“Who is this?” I ask.  
“Snape. He’s the worst. He honestly shouldn’t even be teaching here with all the rumors going around.”  
“What rumors?”  
“Some people think that Snape might be a Death Eater. Personally I think it's true. I mean look at him! He’s so evil, he probably volunteered to be one.”  
“Anika, he’s right behind you,” I warn. She glances over her shoulder to see the professor staring at our table.   
“I don’t care, he deserves it,” She scoffs.  
“You still shouldn’t say stuff like that behind people’s backs.”  
“Lighten up Catie, geez,” Anika says. Her words kind of hurt, but there’s no way I’m letting her know. She keeps on talking about her troubles, but as usual, I’m not interested. I try to bury my thoughts in my schoolwork, but I can’t keep my mind off of something. These first couple of days here just don’t feel exactly right. It will probably just get better with time, but we will have to see. I look across the room and recognize one of the Gryffindor girls from my Charms class. I get up from my seat and walk over to her.   
“Hey,” I say softly, trying not to startle her.   
“Oh, hi,” she says, not even bothering to avert her eyes up to my level.  
“I saw that you were in my last class, and I was wondering if you wanted to work on some of the homework together?” I say. She doesn’t look amused.   
“Why are you asking me? Shouldn’t you be over at the Slytherin table?”  
“They aren’t really my type of people,” I say, sitting down on the bench next to her. She turns her head for the first time so she’s actually facing me.   
“So you’re saying that the people in your house are the kind of people that aren’t your type?”  
“I mean, yeah, I guess. I swear I was sorted into the wrong house or something.”  
“Weird,” she says, looking back down at her book.   
“I’m Catie, by the way,” I say reaching my hand out. She hesitates, then slowly takes it in a firm grasp.  
“Hermione,” the girl says, shaking my hand. “So, how of the first couple of days gone?”  
“Okay, I mean it’s nothing like my old school,” I say. I find myself telling Hermione everything. All about the train ride, meeting the other girls, my classes, getting lost (making sure to leave out anything and everything about Cedric and Draco), and so much more.  
“You’ll get used to it. I remember my first couple of days were pretty hard too. Just let me know if you need anything,” she says.  
“Thank you. I mean it,” I say.  
“Yeah, anytime.” She gets up to leave, and I wave her goodbye. Now, at least something feels right. It feels better than before. Better than ever. I finally feel like I’m actually at home for once. But so many things have changed, that I might not know how to deal with it all. But that’s fine. I’ll get over it.


	5. Chapter 5

THREE WEEKS LATER

“Oh come on, it’s not that hard,” Ron teases from the sky. As for me, I’m holding on for dear life. Even though my feet actually haven’t left the ground yet, I still feel like I’m at the top of a building.   
“Easy for you to say. You grew up with this!” I snark back.   
“What, do you not have Quidditch in America?” Harry taunts.   
“We do, but not in Arizona!” I yell. Finally, I gather up enough courage to lift my feet off the ground. It feels like I’m floating, further up and up.  
“There you go!” Ron yells.  
“I did it!” I say back. “Now how do I turn?”   
“Just lean which way you want to go!” George shouts.  
“Or you can stay frozen in the sky like that forever!” Fred chimes. I make a slight turn to the left, finally getting the hang of it.  
“Am I doing it right?” I laugh. I make my way across the field, and swerve in and out of the goals. It’s such an exhilarating feeling to be so high up and so reckless. I get a shiver down my back. I can’t tell if it's from the adrenaline going through my blood, or if I’m flying through a cloud. Maybe a little bit of both. I decide to head back down to the field, so I tip the end of my broom down to the ground. I was zooming. No not zooming, falling. I was quickly making a fast descent straight into the muddy ground.   
“How do I stop this thing!?” I scream. But it's too late. “Ugh!” I grunt, emerging from the mud. My head hurts, but my foot is throbbing.   
“Are you alright?” Ron asks. He comes over to help me up. The others follow, and they all crowd around me. Harry finds my glasses, and I notice that one of the lenses had cracked. He tried to clean off the dirt on his sweater, but it smears and makes the glasses even more dirty.   
“Occulus reparo,” he says, and my glasses magically fixed. He hands them to me.  
“Thanks,” I say, putting them on my face. I try to put weight on my foot, but a sharp pain goes through my leg. I wince, and lean into Ron.   
“Let’s take you to the hospital wing,” Harry says. He wraps his arm around my other shoulder to support me. Once we get there, two nice ladies set me up in a bed and examine the damage. The report is that I have a major concussion and a broken foot. One of the ladies gives me this strange clear liquid called Skele-gro, which is supposedly going to heal my bone. She hands it to me in a small vile, and it tastes foul. I wasn’t even sure if I could keep it down. My past reports from Ilvermorny had been brought over, and it says I’m prone to passing out from too much pain. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. It was one time, and it wasn’t even my fault. Anyways, they give me a strong sleeping solution to knock me out. The last thing I remember is all of their faces staring down at me. Then everything goes black. 

I wake up to a bright light shining right in my face. I squint, and my head starts to ache from the light. I try to reach my arm up to swat away the light, but it won’t go away.   
“Guys, she’s awake!” I hear someone say. A ton of figures crowd above me, and I rub my eyes to see who it is.   
“It’s so good to see you,” Hermione says, embracing me into a hug. Naturally, I wrap my arms around her.  
“It's good to see you too, I guess. Hey, how long was I asleep for?” I ask.  
“Almost three days,” Harry pipes in. He smiles, and reaches in to give me a hug too.   
“Three days? Are you serious?” I say in disbelief.   
“Yup. How are you feeling?” Ron says, sitting on the edge of my bed.   
“Okay, just a bit woozy,” I say, reaching my arms up to yawn. “I can’t believe it’s been three whole days. What did I miss?” I asked.  
“Oh, not much. Classes, homework, studying for exams and stuff,” Ron explains.   
“Exams? What exams?” I ask, horrified.  
“We have midterms coming up,” Hermione says. “I can help you study if you want.”  
“That sounds fantastic,” I say. Then, the nurse comes over and examines me. She sends my friends to dinner, and I’m left with my thoughts. But it seems I can’t be alone just yet.   
“Where is she?” Cedric says, bursting through the doorway. He sees me, and a smile lights up his face. “Catie, you’re okay.”  
“Yea, I’m feeling better,” I say. He cautiously sits down on the edge of my bed, making sure to not touch my foot.   
“I was worried about you,” he confesses.  
“Why? I was just knocked out for a couple of days.”  
“Is it wrong for me to be concerned about you when I hear you are stuck in the hospital wing?”  
“No, no it's not,” I say. He scoots himself closer to my face, and his eyes meet mine. I get a chill down my spine.   
“I’m just glad that you’re alright,” Cedric whispers. His hand is so close to mine, that I can almost feel the warmth between us. He slowly interlaces his hands with mine, and I let out a shaky breath. His hands are warm, and they feel comfortable in my own. I smile at him, and he cautiously brings his head down to my level. My heart is racing. Cedric plants a soft kiss on my forehead ever so slightly. His lips are warm against my skin, and he places his forehead against mine. He gently squeezes my hand, and stands up. As our hands are about to part, I squeeze his in return.  
“I’ll see you later,” he says. He smiles, and slowly walks out of the room. I feel like I’m on top of the world, but then my gaze is averted to the boy sitting in the corner of the room. Draco’s eyes meet mine, and his face falls. He quickly gets up to leave.   
“Draco wait-” I say, but he doesn’t respond. I slouch into my bed, and run my fingers through my hair, pulling out the strands


	6. Chapter 6

This wasn’t the way things were supposed to happen. This is all wrong. I sit in my hospital bed, conjuring all my thoughts. My dad always told me to not let other people get in my way for the chance to get what you want. On one hand, he’s right. Draco can take care of himself. Just because he came to check up on me doesn’t mean that I should care. Yet, somehow I feel responsible for him checking up on me in the first place. I feel like this is my fault. But what am I even sorry for? Draco hasn’t said anything to me in almost a month. All he does is look at me and stare. He stares like he’s trying to figure me out. If he wanted to figure me out, he would have said something. But no. Just silence. And looks. Nothing. I go to bed that night overthinking the whole situation.

The next morning, I wake up to a visitor sitting in the chair next to my bed. I yawn and rub my eyes just to see that it’s Draco.   
“What are you doing here?” I say, managing to sit up.   
“I wanted to talk to you actually,” he says, his eyes meeting mine. He has bags under his eyes and his face is pale.  
“I wanted to say that these past couple of weeks I haven’t treated you as well as I should have. You deserve so much more and I’m truly sorry,” which was what I wanted to hear. But nevertheless, Draco was not that type of person.   
“What is it?” I ask. He sits there, trying to think of something to say.   
“What’s going on with you and Cedric?” he asks.   
“Why do you care? It’s not like you’ve actually made an effort to talk to me.”  
“Just tell me what’s going on.”  
“Why, so you can ruin it? At least he’s nice to me, and was here for me when all of this happened! You can’t just come in here and try to stir things up, just, well, maybe because you’re jealous,” I sneer.   
“Jealous? Are you crazy? I was trying to come here to apologize,” he says.  
“Well you aren’t doing a great job,” I say. “Why didn’t you just start with ‘I’m sorry’? That would have been so much easier!”   
“I just-” he sputters.  
“Leave, Draco. Now.” He looks like a ghost. His eyes bloodshot. I give him one last final glare, and he gets up to leave. He looks back one more time, just before he leaves the wing, and then walks away. He didn’t want to mend things. All he did was try to ruin something that I already had.


	7. Chapter 7

Later that day, I finally get let out of the hospital wing. I feel mostly recovered, and back to normal. It's almost time for dinner, so I head back to the Slytherin common room and catch up with everyone. I change back into my school robes, feeling comfortable that at least one thing has stayed the same. Louis sits on my bed. Underneath him is a small piece of parchment. I pick him up, and sit down on my bed to read it. 

Meet me in the observatory after supper.  
-C

My eyes light up. I look around to make sure that no one saw me smile, but I notice Anika looking right at me. We haven’t been on the best of terms lately, so it’s been super awkward whenever we see each other. I give her a friendly smile, which is returned with one of her signature glares. I don’t understand why she’s mad at me.   
I walk to dinner with the rest of my house. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to eat in one big group again. Most of the time, I took a roll or some small thing to go to sneak into my dorms. I didn’t have many friends in my house. All of them were complete opposites from me. But that didn’t really matter. I had other friends. Maybe one of them might be more than friends. I didn’t need to be surrounded by people who weren’t good for me.   
All throughout dinner, all I can think about is the note. Why would he want to meet? And what for? I look at him across the room and wave. He smiles back at me. I hold up the note in excitement but he’s not paying attention to me anymore. I try to finish my food as I can, trying not to choke in the process. Finally, it’s time. I’ve been waiting to talk to Cedric since, well, since our last encounter. It was weird having that happen, and then he doesn’t say anything.   
“Ced? You here?” I say.   
“No, he’s not here,” a recognizable voice calls. The lever retracts, opening up the curtain to reveal Draco, standing in the corner. “It’s just me.”  
“Well, can you leave? I’m supposed to be meeting someone, and I don’t think they would be too happy to see you here,” I scoff. But Draco’s face is emotionless.  
“I know. I was the one who wrote you that,” he says, pointing to the crumpled up piece of paper in my fist. I squeeze it harder out of anger.  
“Why did you write me a note and then signed it as someone else?”  
“Because I wasn’t sure you’d talk to me any other way,” he says. He walks closer to me, seducing me into his gaze. His trap.   
“Why are you like this, Draco? What did I ever do to you to make you act like this?”  
“You didn’t do anything, Catie.”  
“Well if you can’t give me a decent answer, then I have to go,” I warn. But he walks over and purposefully blocks the door. Our noses are nearly touching. “Can you move?”  
“I can, but you need to understand something. You don’t know what you’re getting into.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I mean, that you should just be careful. That's all,” he says. He slips out from the door frame. I turn around.   
“Why are you telling me that I should be careful, huh? What, just so if I get stuck in the hospital wing again, you can avoid me and act like I’m invisible?”  
“You don’t understand, Catie,” he growls, inching closer towards me. He backs me up into the wall, and there is no escape.   
“Draco, you’re scaring me,” I warn.  
“You should be scared, Catie.” I jump as he slams his hand into the wall, inches away from my head. “You just don’t get it, do you?”  
“Draco, you need to stop,”  
“I DON’T NEED TO STOP!” he yells. “I haven’t stopped since the day I met you. Since that day on the train. I just knew. I knew what would happen if I got ahead of myself, and look where we are! I was there, Catie. I was there every minute, of every hour, of every day. I stayed in the hospital wing, sitting there every single night, just to make sure you were okay. I couldn’t bear to see you like that. And now, I’m so, so close to letting you go again, just because I fucked up! I really, really fucked up. And I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” He sinks himself to the floor. His eyes are red with tears, and his face is no longer pale. It’s rosy with anger. I sit down next to him, just so our knees are barely touching. We sit in silence for a minute, or maybe an hour. I slowly lean my head onto his shoulder, and he rests his head on top of mine. I look at him thoughtfully, and smile a sad smile.  
“Don’t look at me like that.”  
“Like what?” I ask.  
“Don’t pity me.”  
“I’m not pitying you,” I say.   
“It seems like you are.”  
“Well, I’m not,” I argue. I reach for his hand, and he intertwines his fingers in my own. It feels right. The way my head fits into the nook of his neck. I lift my head up, and look at him. His grey eyes pull me in, closer and closer, until I can feel his breath on my cheeks.   
“I’m never letting go of you,” he whispers into my ear. His hand reaches up to put a strand of hair behind my ear, but instead, he presses his lips against mine. My hands graze the back of his neck and tangle into his hair. He pulls me closer to him, lessening the space between us. My hands slip under the edge of his shirt, freeing my hands to his bare back. I stroke his muscles, and bring him in tighter. Closer. I needed to be closer. He kisses my neck, and then my collarbone, and then my forehead. And then, silence.   
“Why did you stop?” I ask, laying my head on his chest. He looks at me longingly as he rubs his thumb back and forth on my cheek.  
“What would I ever do without you?” he smiles.  
“You’d probably go crazy,” I joke.   
“Yeah,” he smirks, “I probably would.” My eyes start to get heavy. He kisses me one last time before I drift off to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi there, just popping in to say that I HATE THIS CHAPTER BUT i’m too lazy to rewrite it bc i’m working on another story so i’ll finish it in a bit. hugs!

It had been two weeks since that night. Everything seemed so much brighter now. Something inside of me just switched. It has been hard not to tell my friends, just because they have a strong dislike for the Malfoys. Especially Draco. I’m hoping they will find a way to understand where I’m coming from once I tell them. But Cedric will be the hardest to tell. These past couple of days have been so awkward around him. He comes up to me on random occasions and hugs me out of nowhere. I feel bad almost, but you can’t bear to say anything. It hurts everytime I see him. He’s too good of a guy just to be let go by that.   
I approached him the next day at lunch.  
“Hey Cedric, can you meet me down at the lake after classes are over? I have to talk to you about something, and it's kind of important.”  
“Sure,” he says. “I have something to tell you too. See you then!” He turns around with a big goofy grin across his face and walks out of the dining hall. I didn’t know how this was going to go over with him.   
After class, I wander outside and down to the lake. I shiver, wishing that I had worn more than a long sleeve shirt. As I get closer, I notice that Cedric is already sitting underneath a big tree. He stands up and waves.   
“Hi, Ced,” I wince. I notice that he brought a blanket for us to sit upon. This is getting harder and harder by the second.  
“What was it that you wanted to say?” I ask, buying a little more time before I break the news.  
“Well,” he says, leaning closer, “I know we’ve been talking a lot lately, and I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, but I’ve never figured out the right moment to do so.”  
“Okay, and?” He scoots closer. Too close. He leans in, making direct eye contact.

He kisses me. Hard. But it only happens for a second, before I break away. 

“Cedric, I-”  
“Catherine Elizabeth Bailey, would you do me the honors and go out with me?” He pulls out a crumpled red rose from the inside of his over coat and gestures it to me.  
“I- I can’t, Ced. I’m so sorry,” I explain, quickly getting up. He looks at me in disbelief.  
“What? Catie, come back! Catie!” he calls after me. But I don’t turn around. I already know he’s still looking at me. I can feel his gaze burning through my back. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go.


	9. Chapter 9

Two days had passed since Cedric kissed me. We hadn’t talked about it, but that was mostly my fault. I wasn’t ready to tell him the actual reason. So whenever I saw him, I made an effort to look the other way and pretend I was doing something else. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I wasn’t doing a good job of keeping him happy. I decided not to tell Draco. I was still processing the entire encounter. I tried to avoid him too, which wasn’t as hard as I was expecting. He was always off doing all sorts of things, like disappearing from campus or cutting classes (which seemed to be his favorite new activity.) On the occasion that I did see him, he treated me like any other person. He didn’t seem to make a big effort. No hugs from behind, no smiles across the room. He was too distant for me to be able to talk to him. I tried to ignore it, but thinking about it was like a song getting stuck in your head that you remember from when you were little, but it doesn’t get out of your mind no matter how hard you try. An earworm, as some would say. 

Draco Malfoy is an earworm.


	10. Chapter 10

As I enter the library, I recognize a girl with long flowing blonde hair sitting at a table. She looks as though she seems to be studying, so I slowly wander over. I look over her shoulder to find a mass of papers chaotically strewn all taking up all the table space.   
“This seat taken?” I ask gently.  
“Oh, no, go ahead,” she guesteres, clearing off some of her clutter and shoving it into her bag.   
“You’re Luna, right? I’ve seen you hang out with Ginny and Neville at the lake a couple times.”  
“Yeah, that’s me. And you’re Catherine.”  
“You can call me Catie.”  
“So, Catherine, have you finished your Potions essay yet? I’ve been trying to study as much as I can,” Luna remarks, showing off her disorganized pile.  
“I’ve almost finished. How about yourself?”  
“Not too well. It's all a bit boring actually.”  
“Yeah, I know what you mean.”  
“Do you want to go somewhere? I’ve never really been fond of the library,” she explains slowly packing up her stuff.   
“Sure,” I say, following suit. She grabs up all of her things and we head out the library door. We walk for a while in silence as I follow her through a series of stairs that look like a maze. We end up at a doorway with a big padlock sealing to doors.  
“Alohomora,” Luna whispers, and the doors unlock. She sets down her things to push open the heavy door to reveal what looks like a storage room. Things are covered in tarps, abandoned scrolls thrown across the room, and a giant statue of a bird lays untouched in the corner.   
“What is this place?’  
“I’m not exactly sure,” Luna says. “I found it last year and I come here whenever I get bored. Go on, I know you want to look around.” She plops herself down in the middle of the room and starts rummaging through a chest beside her.   
I decide to wander around the room for a bit, looking at all the things that have piled up in this room. Books, chests, owl cages, and a giant black closet type thing that occupies the corner. I walk over to it, my curiosity taking over. As I open the door, I expect to find something, but all I see is a plain Granny Smith apple, sitting at the bottom of the small space. I close the door, not thinking anything of it, but on the inside I know that there must be something else to do with that box.   
I turn around to find a giant tarp covering some sort of table. The black legs sturdy the structure, and I notice a small block in the middle. Luna looks over at me and gives me a nod of approval, almost saying you should uncover it. The tarp is relatively heavy, but I manage. It reveals a large sleek instrument, shining almost as bright as the sun. I lift up the cover and put the peg right in the little groove. It fits perfectly.   
“Woah,” Luna says. She sits down in the bench that lays in front of it, and presses down on one of the ivory keys. The sound rings out, and almost startles her.   
“Do you play?” I ask, sliding into the seat next to her.   
“No, I want to though. I learned about this last year in Muggle Studies, but I never got the chance to play it. Do you?”  
“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” I explain. She scoots over so I have room to rest my feet on the pedals. My fingers find themselves resting on the keys of the piano. I play out a melody as my hands flutter up and down the keys. I close my eyes, trying to remember every note and every harmony as perfect as I can. I was enchanted by the sounds of the melody, intoxicating my ears and making me feel warm. As I finish, Luna applauds quietly.  
“Did you write that?” she asks.  
“No, no no no. Debussy did. It’s called Clair De Lune. Have you not heard of Debussy before?”   
“We learned about some Ludwig van-something guy last year a little bit, but he didn’t seem too important.”  
“You mean Beethoven? Are you kidding? He was like a musical genius!” I explain, shocked that she had no idea who these people were.  
“Yeah, I think that was his name. But play some more! It sounds beautiful,” Luna says. She lays her head on my shoulder as I play the beginning chords of Nocturne No.2 in E Flat, Op.9 No.2. Halfway through the song, Luna gets up from the bench and finds an old Quidditch broom. She picks it up and cradles it in her arms, and starts waltzing around the room. She glides through all the piles of things, moving so smoothly through the air. I laugh, and she smiles back at me. I keep playing, letting all my energy flow into the keys. Once the song finishes, Luna starts clapping again. I stand up from the bench and curtsy, almost tripping over a large box. I get back on my feet, and Luna is still laughing.  
“I liked your dancing,” I commented.  
“Why thank you,” she says. “I’ve been practicing, can’t you tell?” Luna twirls around again and again, grabbing my hands and pulling me into a turn. We dance all through the room, weaving through the mess of build up. She stops me at the end of a room, and she points to a large clear box, with something displayed inside. I notice that it’s the Sorting Hat.  
“I’ve never seen this here before,” Luna says. She carefully takes out the hat, and places it lightly on her head.   
“Ah, I see, I see,” the hat says. “Ravenclaw!” Luna takes the hat off of her head and hands it to me.  
“Good thing the hat didn’t mess me up,” she says. I hold the hat in my hands, skeptical of putting it on my head. Is it possible for the hat to be wrong? I set the hat on my head, and it starts to speak.  
“Now you are different, a new type. I see courage, but also a thrust to prove yourself. You are a very tricky sort, but my final decision is-”   
Don’t mess up. Don’t mess up.   
“Gryffindor!”  
What?


	11. Chapter 11

This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.

“How could I be Gryffindor?” I say in disbelief. I put the hat on my head again, but I get the exact same response as before.   
“Don’t you think we should tell Dumbledore? Maybe he can switch you back?” Luna offers.   
“Maybe, I don’t know. But why would the hat give me two different houses? That just doesn’t seem right.” I set the hat back down in the glass box and immediately start pacing.   
What if the hat made a mistake? Maybe it's an old hat that doesn’t work anymore? But it was accurate for Luna, so why not me? Is there something wrong with me? What if-  
“Catherine, calm down. You’re fine. Everything is going to be fine.” Luna places her hands firmly on my shoulders and guides me in taking two deep breaths.   
“It’s just weird how that would happen,” I say, running my fingers through my hair. I feel sweaty, so I ask Luna if we can go to the bathrooms to splash water on my face. We leave our forgotten school books in the room, and I promise myself I’ll come back for them later. Once we are in the girls washroom, Luna decides that it’s probably best if we tell Dumbledore about the sorting mishap. I don’t know what I expect from this outcome, or actually why I agreed to tell the headmaster in the first place. Hopefully we could get something figured out.  
Luna holds my hand in a firm grip as we twist up the eagle staircase that leads to Dumbledore’s office. We barely get the chance to knock more than once on the doors before the headmaster opens the doors.   
“Ah, Ms. Bailey and Ms. Lovegood. What do I owe this pleasure?” Dumbledore’s warm voice says. He let us inside his crowded office, and we took our seats in front of his desk. He continues to stand up, not seeming to be in any sort of rush. Luna looks over at me and gives me a hint of encouragement.   
“Luna and I were walking along the halls when we came across this room. We decided to go inside just because we knew it would be a quiet spot to get away from everything. Once we got inside, we came across the Sorting Hat,” I explain, trying to talk slowly.  
“We decided to try it on just for fun not actually expecting anything to happen,” Luna chimes in.   
“Luna got Ravenclaw, but when I tried it on my head, it said Gryffindor.” Dumbeldore’s face shifts.   
“We must be going,” he says. He starts towards the door and beckons for us to follow. We trail him all the way back to the room. He opens the door with ease and walks over to the hat. Dumbledore takes it out of the casing and places it on my head.   
“I have been deceived of my own knowledge. Tricked, but here we are. Again, once more, I see courage and strength. Gryffindor!” the hat shouts. Dumbledore’s face is emotionless.   
“I see. Do you know how this could have happened?” he asks.  
“No, no idea,” I say.   
“My best guess is that when you were being sorted, the hat was hexed,” he says calmly.   
“What do you mean, hexed?”  
“Someone probably hexed the hat and made it sort you into the wrong house. Nevertheless, we can’t have you switch. It will just cause too much of a problem for the rest of the students. I’m sorry, but there is simply nothing I can do. But thank you for letting me know about this issue. I thought I put a charm on this old thing a while ago.” Dumbledore says sympathetically.   
“Oh, well thank you anyways,” I say.   
“Anytime,” he says, setting the hat down. He walks out of the room with ease, my gaze still fixed on him.  
“So what are you going to do?” Luna asks. I turn around and see her start to pack up her things that we had left there before.  
“Find out who did it,” I say, not being able to think of a better response. “I’ll catch you later, Luna. It was nice meeting you though.”  
“Likewise. See you later,” she smiles. She heads out the door. I wander over back to the piano bench, and sit down. I start to make up a random melody with my fingers, but I am suddenly interrupted by the sound of a door closing. My hands slow down, barely making any sound, but they still graze the keys. I ignore the sound, and keep playing. The notes come to mind so easily, it’s almost like the song was already written. I stop on an ending chord, finishing the song as gently as I can.  
“I didn’t know you played piano.” I turn around to see Draco leaning against a pile of books.   
“Oh my god, don’t sneak up on me like that,” I scold. He sits down next to me on the bench and his knees are almost touching mine. I pretend not to notice the bright green apple he was carrying was cast aside on top of the piano.   
“Teach me something,” he says.   
“Okay,” I respond. I place his hands carefully and explain how to play.   
“So you go G and then these three notes,” I say, pressing his hands onto the keys so that it plays out a melody, “and then you switch to E and these three notes,” I explain, moving his hands again.   
“Like this?” Draco says. He plays back the melody, and I adjust his hands once more.  
“Perfect. Now you keep doing that while I play the top part. Ready?” He starts slowly and carefully, making sure that each and every note is heard.   
“What is that called?” he asks.  
“I wouldn’t expect you to be interested in this sort of thing,” I say.  
“What do you mean?”  
“You don’t seem like a piano type of guy,” I say bluntly.   
“Can I not be interested in something that my uh- I mean- you like?”  
“Wait hold on, what were you going to say?”  
“I was wondering why you said I can’t be interested in piano,” Draco contradicts.  
“No, before that. You hesitated.”  
“I never hesitate.”  
“You asked me why you can’t be interested in something that your blank likes. What were you going to say?” I argue.   
“Girlfriend,” he says. “I was going to say girlfriend. But I understand if this is too early for you or anything.”  
“Oh,” I say. I guess it never really hit me that Draco thought of me this way. “Am I your girlfriend? That's a funny word, isn’t it?”  
“I mean if you want to be,” he says, wrapping his arm around me. “But girlfriend is kind of a silly word. You’re mine, that's what you are.” I snuggle into him, breathing in the soft scent of his cologne.   
“Can I ask you something?” I say.   
“Always,” he says.   
“How did you find this room?”  
“Um, well, I was wandering around and I saw you and Luna slip in, so I wanted to see what it was. Sorry for following you.”  
“No it’s okay,” I reassure him, eyeing the apple closely.  
“We should get going,” he says, getting up from his seat next to me. “It's almost dinner and people are going to be wondering where we are.”  
“Yeah, yeah we should. I’ll meet you in the common room later?”  
“Yeah,” he says. He kisses my cheek softly and heads out the door.


	12. Chapter 12

I go to dinner as I think about the whole sorting hat problem. Mainly, who could have been behind this. I try to clear the thought from my mind, but it keeps coming back.   
“Catie, you okay?” Anika asks. “You look a little pale.” Her voice interrupts my train of thought, making that memory get tucked away in the back of my head.  
“What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just a little light headed,” I respond, nibbling on a piece of bread. My throat aches, longing for water. I lose focus on the conversation around as I feel a sharp flash of heat on my back. The flashes get worse, moving throughout my entire body. My hands start to shake as my vision gets blurry. I can’t see straight. I get up abruptly from the table and dash towards the door, not thinking I’m going to make it the whole way without collapsing. My heart is beating too fast for me to keep up with it. I push my way past a couple of first years who are filing in and try to find an empty hallway. I hide behind a pillar and press my back into the wall. My feet slip from underneath me and I end up against the cold concrete floor.  
Breathe in, breathe out. You’re fine you’re fine you’re fine. In, out.

My hands grip the sides of the trimming.

In, and out. In, and out. You’re fine you’re fine you’re fine. 

My grip slips. 

In, and out.  
I squeeze my hands together creating indents on my palms from my fingernails. 

In, out. In, out. In-

“Catie? Are you alright?” I look up to see the last person I want to talk to right now. Cedric starts to sit down next to me and I grimace.   
“I’m fine-” I cough out. I don’t have enough energy to even spit out a full sentence. He takes both of my hands and cups them in his own.  
“Look at me,” he says. I refuse to turn around. “Catie, trust me. Look at me.” I give in and listen. His eyes meet mine. He squeezes my hands even harder.  
“See? You’re okay. You’re safe.” My breath starts to slow down and I gulp up all the fresh air I can. He rubs his thumb against my forefinger and my heartbeat goes back to normal. 

In, out. In, out. Breathe.

I take one more deep breath and smile sadly at Cedric. 

“How did you know, I mean, what to do?” I manage to say.   
“My mom has panic attacks sometimes. You feeling any better?”  
“Yeah, thank you so much. And hey, I’m sorry about the other day, I just wasn’t expecting it to happen and-”  
“Just forget about it,” he shrugs it off. “Friends though?”  
“Definitely.” He lets go of my hands allowing me to wipe the tears away from my cheeks. I rub my nose until it goes red. He takes my hand to help me up from the floor and I brush myself off.   
“Do you want me to walk you back?” Cedric asks solemnly.  
“No, I think I’ll be alright. Thank you again.” Cedric’s face goes rosy as he turns around and heads back into the bustle of the other students.


	13. Chapter 13

Walking back to the common room, I look down at my pale palms. The half moon shaped scars have opened themselves up again to reveal even more pain. My fingernails are stained a faded red. I can’t stand to look at them anymore. I shove my hands into my coat pockets and hastily walk faster. I shiver from the cold winds and pull my clothes tighter to my chest, trying to keep as much warmth in as possible. My breath steams up my glasses making it hard to see. The cold is getting to me, and not in a good way. 

I mutter the password to get into the common room. As I open the door, I try as hard as I can to make sure no one notices me. But thankfully, the room is empty. The fire crackling draws me close. I sit down in one of the arm chairs, sinking into the plush cushions. The heat makes my face rosy. But my silence is interrupted. Draco comes walking down the stairs coming from the boys dormitories. Shit. I shrink myself to hide behind the backing of the chair, making myself as small as possible. I hold my breath and bring my knees toward my chest. I watch Draco leave the room. He looks around to see if anyone is watching him, and then slips out the common room door. I sigh out of relief, and rest my feet back onto the floor. An idea goes off in my head, and I suddenly have the urge to follow him. I stand up from my seat, and head out of the room.   
At first, I don’t see him. I walk to a crossing point between hallways, and spot him going down a set of stairs. He looks nervous, almost like he’s waiting for something big to happen. We reach a familiar corridor, and I watch him duck inside the same room I had been in with Luna only hours before. I sneak inside the room, only to walk in on the middle of a conversation. I hide behind a stack of boxes and make sure I’m as silent as possible.   
“So you’re positive this works,” a deep musky voice says.   
“Yes, I think it’s done,” Draco says.   
“You think or you know,” the voice coos. “Draco this task is very important, and we can’t have a young amature mess up the Dark Lord’s plans. Is that clear?”  
“Yes, Professor,” Draco says. I lift my head up to try and catch a glimpse of who he was talking to, but it was almost impossible without being spotted. The Dark Lord? Why didn’t Draco tell me that he was doing this? I keep listening, trying to work out bits and pieces of their conversation.   
“We are counting on you, Mr. Malfoy. I can’t keep cleaning up your messes and getting you out of trouble. You need to step it up.”  
“Yes, sir.” The person sighs and makes a direct trail to walk right into my hiding spot. I quickly duck underneath a dusty tarp. As the footsteps get closer, I catch a glimpse of a long black robe. I still can’t tell who it is. I lean closer to get a better look, but they have already left the room. I lose my balance from my crouched position, and fall forwards onto my face. The tarp releases a bunch of loose boxes which come toppling down onto me. I brace myself for the impact. But it doesn’t hit. I look out from underneath the tarp to find Draco with his wand raised. He has the boxes floating just a couple feet away from my head.   
“Catie?” he says, losing his concentration. He abruptly lowers his wand, making the boxes fall with it. I put my arms over my head. They come crashing down, managing to collide with my back. Glass shatters around my feet while the sound of steel colliding with the floor rings in my ears.  
“Merlin’s beard, are you alright?” Draco asks.   
“Why didn’t you tell me?”I contradict.  
“Tell you what?”  
“Oh come on, don’t play stupid with me Draco. Why didn’t you say anything?”  
“Catie, I promise you I wanted to tell you, but I-”  
“You lied to me, Draco. You lied straight to my face. And I was stupid enough to trust you,” I sneer. Angry tears slowly start to make my vision blurry. He comes closer to me and brushes his hand against my arm.  
“Please, just let me explain-” he stutters.   
“Get your hands off of me,” I say, pulling away from his grasp. I look down at his forearm and spot an inked tattoo with a familiar snake symbol.   
“You’re one of them, aren’t you.”  
“I didn’t have a choice.”  
“Cedric warned me about Death Eaters. He told me to stay away. Now I can see why.” I walk closer to the door, almost making it out.   
“Please. Just listen to me,” Draco says. I stop for a moment, then decide to hear him out.   
“I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t know if you could handle it.”  
“Handle what?”  
“Voldemort has this giant plan to wipe out anyone that might get in his way. Basically, he wants revenge.”  
“Revenge?”  
“He wants to kill Potter.”  
“Oh,” I say. This isn’t new information to me, but it still comes as a shock. “So why did you say you couldn’t tell me?”  
“Well, there is more to the story then just that. Potter has backup. There is a group of wizards called the Order of the Phoenix. They formed together a while ago to try and stop the Dark Lord himself. You see, your parents didn’t come here because they had new jobs at the ministry. They came here because they work for the Order.”   
“Well then why didn’t they tell their own kid the real reason why they spontaneously decided to move across the world?” I say in disbelief. Why would they keep this from me?  
“I don’t know, but Voldemort’s plan is to wipe out the entire order. That's why I’ve been working on this Vanishing Cabinet. I didn’t want to, but he would kill me if I didn’t listen.”  
“I’m sorry,” I say. “What does it do?”  
“Well, there is another one in Diagon Alley. He wants for us to be able to have a secret way to get into the castle so we can get to the rest of the Order.”  
“You mean, kill them?” A chill goes down my spine as I try to get the image out of my head.   
“Yes.”  
“Oh,”  
“I know that this is hard to hear-”  
“Hard to hear Draco? Someone wants a whole order of people dead! Someone wants my family dead,” I start to break down, but I try to hold it in.   
“I know, and I’m sorry. I really shouldn’t be the one to tell you this,” Draco says, his gaze meeting his feet.   
“There’s more?”  
“I can’t do it. I can’t tell you.”  
“Draco come on, who else is going to tell me?” He takes in a deep breath and sighs. He looks up at me and his eyes meet mine. He looks scared.   
“Potter’s mother had two sisters. Two were wizards, and one was a Muggle. When Potter’s parents were killed, Dumbledore decided it would be better for him to hide out for a while with the Muggle family so he wasn’t in any danger.”  
“Okay, that makes sense.”  
“The other sister had moved to the United States to try and get as far away from the Dark Lord as possible. Catie, you’re mom was that sister.” My gaze softens.   
“So Harry is my cousin? How did I not know about this?”  
“You and your family are the only family he has left.”  
“Then I have to tell him! Maybe we can help him. We can make things better, I-”  
“No, Catie. You can’t.” Draco says. He walks closer to me and stares at me. His eyes search mine.  
“The Dark Lord seems to think that anyone related to the Potter family is going to be just as powerful as himself. You can’t tell Potter because he thinks that if Potter knows that he has more family that was killed by Voldemort, he would only want to fight back stronger. So, that's why he wants your parents dead.” I grab his hands and squeeze them as tight as I can.  
“And what does he want with me?” Draco sighs. In a small voice he responds sadly.   
“He ordered me to kill you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... TOLD U IT WOULD GET GOOD LMFAO hope you enjoyed this plot twist :)


	14. Chapter 14

My blood runs cold. It's happening again. No it can't happen in front of him. It's too soon for him to know. I pace around the room, back and forth. I shake my hands to try and shake off the invisible substance that makes me feel insecure. I can hear Draco trying to talk to me, but all the sounds that surround me are muffled by my thoughts. I reopen those cuts on my hands, balling them into fists until the scars bleed.

He might actually kill me.

My body starts to shake as I feel the air suffocating me. My breaths become short. I try to calm myself down, but nothing seems to work. I feel a hand grab my shoulder, but I shove it off. My knees give way from underneath me, leaving me on the floor. Draco is clearly panicking. I can see him call for help, but I am reminded that everyone is still at dinner. He looks at me with pain in his eye, almost like he wants to help me, but he doesn't know how. My mind is too powerful.

He's going to kill you.

He won't hurt me. He's not that kind of person. But I feel vulnerable with him.

Draco tries to wrap me in a hug, I feel as though he's trying to hurt me. I rip his hands off of me.

"You- stay away- from me," I say between short gasps for air. His look confuses me. It's a look I would have never expected to see on the face. His eyes are big, and his face is red. His brows are raised up, but also down in some sort of way. His mouth is wide open. I would have never guessed that I could make someone feel this way. But I needed to get out of there. I didn't care that I hurt him. He would have hurt me if he didn't tell me. Maybe his whole plan was just to get to me, just so he could do something so drastic. I can't put it into words. I can't say it. But my thoughts are a different story.

He's going to kill you. He's going to hurt you. He's going to make you suffer. Suffer so hard that you won't even be able to last a second. Not one.

Tears start to spill down my face, burning into my skin. I try to steady myself and get to my feet, but my legs are weak and won't hold my weight. I grab onto a table. As soon as I regain my balance, I race towards the door, finally giving in to one of my repulsive thoughts. I watch Draco out of the corner of my eye look at me intensely as I make a path towards the door. He calls out my name for me to come back, but I block out any sound. I race towards the Owlery as fast as I can, not even stopping to think about what I'm doing. I need to talk to my parents. I need to see them. I fly up the stairs, taking them two at a time. My vision is blurred so I can only see what's actually in front of me. I grab a piece of parchment and a quill and start writing. I scribble down words. My mind goes faster than my hand can write, and I spill the ink all over the page.

"Fuck," I murmer under my breath. I go to grab another piece of paper, but I'm interrupted from being in my own head.

"You alright?" A tall, ginger-haired boy says. I look up to see George on the other side of the room, tying an envelope to a scruffy looking owl. He gives it a quick tap on the shoulder and it flies off into the cold.

"Fine," I say, pretending not to notice him.

"Let me ask again," he says, contradicting me. "Are you alright?" I finally meet his eyes and give him a sad smile, which leads me to tears once more.

"No, no I'm not," I say. He holds his arms out and walks towards me. He smiled sympathetically as he pulls me into a tight bear hug. I breathe in the scent of his sweater, which reminds me of home. He rubs my back as we just stand there together. Once we release each other, I smile.

"Thank you," I say, wiping my eyes with the backs of my hands. I pretend to not see him staring at my red stained palms when I shove them into the pockets of my pants.

"Of course," George says solemnly. He walks out the room. I feel so lucky to have people in my life like him. That's why it's so hard to try and protect them. They mean too much to you that they become your weakness. But how am I supposed to word this in one letter to my parents?


	15. Chapter 15

Another letter from my parents arrives in the mail today, but this time it's entirely written in script. Not one word is in a language that I can understand. It frustrates me to want to be able to communicate with them without anyone suspecting anything. I shove the letter in my coat pocket and head for the library to see what this is about. I jog all the way there, but make sure to walk as soon as I go through the doors of the library so Madam Pince doesn't get angry. Everyone says she's just a crabby Squib who doesn't even like children, but she's actually a nice person if you get to know her. I smile at her when I walk in, still catching my breath. I search the shelves for anything that might possibly help, but no luck. I grab a couple books, and head to find a table Once I sit down, I open a book called A Guide To Scripture: Throughout The Years, and start reading while simultaneously trying to fish out the letter from my pocket. I look back and forth between the letter and the script, but no such luck.

"That book isn't going to get you anywhere if you're trying to figure out what that means," a voice says behind me. Cedric smiles as I turn around. "Can I sit?"

"Yeah, of course," I say, gesturing to a chair. He sits down and scoots his chair closer to me. I remind myself that it's only because he wants to be able to get a better look at the book, but my mind is saying something else. After looking through my selection of books, he gets up to find others. After about five minutes of me waiting, he comes back with a small brown book that's about the size of his palm. Cedric sits down and flips through the book. He steals glances at my letter, and then back at the book, trying to figure out what the writing meant.

"Do you recognize any of this?" he asks me.

"I know that I've seen it somewhere before but I have no clue where." He slides the book over to me, and it's open to a page entitled Dwarf Runes. It shows a key with letters that correspond to the figure that I've been seeing throughout my parent's letters. "Do you have a piece of paper and a quill?" Cedric shakes his head, and I stand up to try and find one because all of my stuff is at the bottom of my bag. I search the library, and end up stealing some supplies from a Hufflepuff first year. Sorry, I mouth. Sitting back down, it seems so weird to actually know what my parents are trying to tell me. I decipher the letters one by one, until finally revealing a sentence.

USE THE RING. 11 PM TONIGHT

"What's the ring?" Cedric asks, peering over my shoulder.

"I have no clue," I respond. I set my elbow down on the table and rest my cheek on my fist.

"You'll figure it out," he says, cautiously putting a hand on my shoulder. It makes me jump, but then I realize how long it's been since someone has touched me like that. It feels comforting. I give in and rest my head on top of where his hand is placed. His thumb rubs against my hair, his finger getting entangled. I quickly snap out of this trance that I've been placed in, and get up to check out the book.

"Where are you going?" Cedric asks.

"To try and see what my parents want me to know."


	16. Chapter 16

Once I get back to the common room, I see Louis sitting on top of a small brown package. I pick the fat mess of fur from my bed, uncovering a brown package wrapped up in string. It's small, just about the size of my hand. I open it to find none other than a ring. I slide it onto my middle finger, seeing it fit perfectly. I rub my thumb against the engraving of the metal, and sigh. I now am just realizing what I'm about to get myself into. Over the past few months, my life has changed drastically, but I'm not sure if it's for the better. My eyes begin to get heavy. I shut them self consciously and immediately drift off into a deep sleep.

Sooner than I would like, I wake up from my sleep. I check the clock on the nightstand by my bed to see that it reads 10:57 pm. Looking down at the metal band on my finger, I get a chill down my spine. How am I supposed to use this? Staring down at the floor, I set my elbows on my knees and run my hands through my matted down hair. Before I get the chance to even lay back down, I can feel myself spinning faster and faster. My brain goes to mush as I feel like I'm being pulled and stretched in every direction possible. Suddenly, my feet touch solid ground. I stumble and reach out for something to grab on. I am caught by a strong figure, who sets me back up onto my feet. Looking up, I see my dad's face gazing down at my own.

"Catie," he says. He pulls me into a giant bear hug, holding me as tight as I can. I squeeze him harder. I let go to see my mom across the room. She has her hands over her mouth as silent tears fall down her face. I look at her with a look that says everything is going to be alright. She walks towards me with such force that I get smothered by her hug. I breath into her shirt, smelling the familiar scent of home that still lies on her clothing. We sob into each other, like this would be our last time together. My mom holds my face in my hands, rubbing her thumb along my jawline. She kisses my forehead softly. I've missed her warmth.

"We're so glad to see you," my mother says. I pull back from her, letting my hands fall down to my waists. My instincts are sensing that something is wrong.

"Why did you call me here?" I ask in a concerned tone. My father's face goes firm. I look behind him to see Dumbledore, along with another man I hadn't seen before. "Professor?" The man walks over to me slowly, reaching out a kind hand.

"Remus Lupin, it's a pleasure to meet you," he says. I take his hand and grab it firmly.

"Does someone mind explaining?" I say irritably.

"Professor Lupin here is one of the best Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers Hogwarts has ever had. He taught here a couple of years ago, before you and your family came. He's just here for our safety," Dumbledore explains. I look outside to try and figure out where I am exactly, but it's pitch black. Something feels off.

"Okay," I breathe.

"Honey, we're so sorry for not being able to tell you," my mom says. "But your father and I aren't safe here. We um, we're moving back to the States."

"What?" I said, my knees suddenly going wobbly.

"It's just too much of a risk for us to be here. We've done all we can to help the Order, but it's best if we leave," my father chimes in.

"When are we leaving?" I ask, my eyes tearing up again.

"Catie, you aren't going with them," Dumbledore warned. "You need to stay here."

"No, I can't just leave my parents to be in mortal danger! Are you crazy?" I protest.

"Voldemort is after your parents, but he also wants to get to you. If we separate you, then we will have a better time frame of when he's planning to strike. We're doing all that we can," Dumbledore explains.

"If you were doing the best that you can, you would let me go with them, I can protect them," I seeth through clenched teeth. My hands start to get sweaty, and I wipe them on my pants.

"It's just not safe. I'm sorry sweetie," my dad says.

"Well when do you guys leave?" I ask.

"Tonight," Dumbledore says bluntly. A chill goes down the back of my spine, giving me goosebumps.

"Tonight? And so you were only planning on telling me now?" I accuse. My breath gets hot.

"We only found out a couple hours ago ourselves. That's why we sent the portkey," my mom sighs. I look down at the ring on my finger, rubbing the metal once more. It sends a sort of sensation to my brain to give me some security. I breathe heavily, counting to ten to try and calm myself down. I pull my parents in for one last hug. It almost feels like time stopped. But time was all that mattered in that very second.

"Will you still write to me?" I sniffle, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.

"We will try," my father says. They pull away from me, and I watch them head to the back corner of the cabin to gather their pre-packed belongings. But our moment is interrupted by a swarm of orange light. The door blasts open to reveal a group of hooded figures wearing intricately carved masks. Each one has different designs, making it impossible to tell who these people were.

"There's the girl," one voice says.

"And her family," another yells. I hear a cackle come from the back of the group.

"Why don't you just kill them already? Or I'll be glad to do it myself," the shrill tone says, her figure stepping closer and closer to the front of the pack.

"Don't you dare touch them," I warn, placing myself in front of them.

"Crucio!" The figure screams. I push my parents out of the way, the curse just missing us by only a few inches. The figure keeps firing spells at me, but I'm not able to defend them fast enough.

"Oh Catherineeee," the masked voice says, drawing out the letters of my name in a taunting way. My head turns, but I am too late. Two pairs of burly arms have grabbed my sides, forcing me to be still.

"Let- me- go!" I scream, panting in between breaths. I struggle as hard as I can, but the arms wrapped around me are firm. I look around to see that Dumbledore, Lupin, and my parents have both been tied up the same.

"Bellatrix, you don't have to do this," Dumbledore warns desperately. I can see him trying to reach for his wand, but one of his guards catches him and takes it from his grasp. They carelessly throw it across the room.

"Oh, Albus, what if I want to?" Bellatrix cackles, taking off her mask. I finally get a glimpse of her evil figure. Her face looks mean.

"No," I warn, trying to make myself heard. "Don't do this, please." But before I can get anything out, a green light comes showering down from her wand. I try to close my eyes, to try and just forget why I'm even here.

"NO!" I shriek at the top of my lungs. Seeing their cold, lifeless bodies makes my heart break. I scramble towards them, kicking and pushing until I get to them. I try to stand, but my feet won't keep me upright.

"Dad, please, come on," I choke. "I need you. Just come back. Mom?"

The whole world is now on my shoulders. No one is here to help me. I'm all alone in this universe.

Dumbledore looks at me solemnly. My face is streaked with tears, and my voice is dry.

"Bella, darling, leave the girl. That's Malfoy's kid's job," A voice says. Bellatrix turns around.

"Oh, but he won't do it. We all know he's not capable of doing anything," she sniggers. The whole room erupts in laughter, but I try to tune out their harsh words.

"Catie, you have to listen to me," Dumbledore whispers. "Grab my hand." I look at him with despair.

"What?"

"I can get us out of here. Just hold on to me." I take one more look at my parents, and then grab the professor's elbow.


	17. Chapter 17

8 years ago - Rose's perspective

"Okay sweetie, here is your last present," I say, handing Catie a brown package. I watch her untie the twine that was ever so carefully wrapped the night before.

"What's 'The Hobbit'?" she asks. I notice her fingers run over the cracked spine.

"It was my favorite book when I was your age, and now I want to give it to you," I say. She opens it up, and her big brown eyes scan the worn pages.

"But how am I supposed to read it? It's in a different language," Catie complains.

"There's a key in the back, we can help you," Thomas says. He smiles at me softly.

Catie's perspective

After feeling like my insides were being blended together, I'm left all alone in the astronomy tower. The wind is cutting my tear stained cheeks, but it feels like I can't feel anything. I am numb.

It hasn't hit me yet. My parents are dead. Gone. Done. And I couldn't save them. I wasn't quick enough.

My head is pounding in my chest, and I grab ahold of the closest railing. I break down. I can't stand. I can't see. I can't hear anything but my own thoughts. I scream into the abyss, thinking that maybe someone will hear me. But then I am reminded that I'm all alone. Just me. No one else is here. No one can see me. No one can hear me. I can't do this anymore.

I try to pull myself up to be able to stand, but my feet are wobbly underneath my weight. I clutch as tight as I can to the balcony railings, mustering all the strength there is left to give. But there is none.

Seeing the ground hundreds of feet below me, I cling even tighter. The last thing I need is to fall. Though, what if I don't fall? What if I just jump?

I hear a muffled voice from behind me, but I can't make out who it is until a familiar grip embraces me. They pull our bodies closer together, making the space between us as small as possible. My bloodshot eyes meet theirs.

"Shhh, it's okay Catie, just breath," Draco says, rubbing his hand against my back. I sob into him, drenching his sweater. He pulls me in, making me feel warm. I take deep breaths in and out while he whispers encouragements in my ear. His breath is warm on my skin, making it tingle. I know I told myself to stay away from him, but somehow I always ended up back to him.

"She, she-" I try to spit out, but my dry tongue prevents me from talking.

"Hey, it's okay, we don't have to talk about this now," Draco says. He wraps his arm around my head, intertwining his long fingers into my hair. We rock back and forth, until my breathing slows. He manages to stand me up, and we walk back to his dorm with his arms around me.

He sits me down onto his bed, pulling the covers over my legs. Draco searches around the room for anything that will make me warmer. He results into grabbing one of his sweatshirts, and pulls it over my head. It smells of pine needles and sweat, but nonetheless I appreciate it.

"You want to talk about it?" Draco says. Immediately, I try to put together enough words to describe what happened. I can feel tears welling in my eyes as I relive the whole moment over again.

"And I just couldn't save them," I finish. Draco's face softens. He walks toward me and wraps his arms around my small figure. I breathe into him.

"This isn't fair," is all he manages to say. He releases me, and then climbs into bed next to me. I wrap myself around him, and he does the same. We lay like this for a long time.

"I've really missed you," I say, turning my head to face him. He turns to look at me. His hands caress my face, finally finding the curve of my jawline. Draco plants a kiss on my lips, and pulls back to say: "I've missed you more."


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey there! if you are 13 years or older, feel free to keep reading! but if not, just stay tuned for the next chapter. love you all!

I stay in Draco’s room for a couple days. Dumbledore knows why I’ve been gone, and he’s excused me from all of my classes. It’s nice not having to worry about other things right now. Draco only leaves to get us food from the Great Hall and to work on the Vanishing Cabinet. I don’t think that the fact that my parents are really gone has sunk in yet. The pit in my stomach hasn’t gone away, but I’m working on it.   
I manage to get myself out of his bed to take a much needed shower. His sweater hangs just below my knees, making the rest of my legs bare and scattered with goose bumps. I don’t want to leave his room, and the girl’s washrooms are so far away. As I’m about to leave, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My skin is pale, almost like a ghost. My hair is still tied up in the same knot that I had put it in days before. I didn’t want to look at my face, knowing that I’m not looking my best. Standing there, I know I am broken.

And I’m in a big need of being fixed. 

Draco told me last night that I need to know how to ask for help. He said that I don’t rely on other people as much as I need to. He said I have the need to have to do everything myself. I mean, I guess it’s true. But a part of me feels the need to have some sort of security about what I’m doing. And if I ask for someone else to get involved, then I lose ahold of what I’m doing. I don’t like being like this. I want to be able to ask for help, but at the same time I need to know that I can do it myself. 

A knock on the door startled me.

“I got one of everything because I still don’t know what you like,” Draco says, walking through the door with his hands full of food. He sets it all down on the desk by the window, and ushers me over to eat something. My eyes grow wide at all the assortment of my favorites, but eating is the last thing I feel up for.

“Thanks, but I’m not that hungry,” I say, shying away from the display.   
“You just said you were starving 20 minutes ago,” Draco says, shooting me a concerning look.   
“I changed my mind, I’m all good.”  
“Catie, you need to eat something,” he coaxes.   
“I’m fine,” I say sternly. I make fierce eye contact with him. He stares me down harder, handing me a blueberry muffin. When I don’t take it, he grabs my hand and places it in my palm for me.   
“Now eat. I don’t like you like this,” he says. I take a small bite, chew, and manage to swallow. Draco smiles, and grabs a piece of toast himself. He looks at me before taking a bite, almost like he wants us to do it at the same time. I obey, and he smiles again.   
“I think today might be the day to freshen up a bit,” I explain. “But I don’t know if I can go into the common room yet, let alone the girls washroom.”  
“Well then why don’t you just shower in my room?”   
“Really?”  
“Well, yeah, you basically live in my room now, so it’s fine with me.”   
“I honestly forgot that prefects have bathrooms connected to their dorms, it must be nice,” I say.  
“Not a prefect,” Draco reminds me. “I just know how to get my way.” I smile as he hands me a towel.  
Once I’m in the bathroom alone, I strip myself from the clothes on my body. I realize how thin I’ve become, and for the first time ever I look at my body with a sense of disgust. The scars from past stories stain my skin. It makes me sick. I want to stop. I’ve never thought of my body this way. I don’t want to get sucked into that hole. I turn on the hot water to drown out my thoughts. Letting the water run over my hair, I attempt to scrub off all the pain that’s left crawling over my body. No matter how much soap I use, it will always remain attached to me.

I step out of the shower, and wrap the small white towel around my frail form. The towel isn’t very big, so as I’m covering my chest, it reveals more legs than I feel comfortable with. I realize I don’t have any other clothes.  
“Draco?” I say, cracking open the bathroom door. He looks up from a book, and stares at me. His eyes search my body, following every curve and bone, till they meet my lips. “Don’t stare at me like that.” I wrap my towel a little tighter.   
“I’m not staring at you,” he says, not making eye contact with me.  
“Yes, you are.”  
“I’m admiring you.” He stands up, walking closer to me.  
“Um, do you have something I can change into?” I ask, cutting him off. My question seems to take him out of his trance.   
“Oh, right, sorry,” he says, scratching the back of his head. He goes over to his dresser, and opens the bottom drawer, pulling out some of my clothes.  
“How did you get these?” I ask, taking them.  
“The morning after you came here, I went up into your dorm and grabbed them while everyone was at breakfast. For some reason I know you would be here for a while.”  
“Thank you,” I say, heading back into the bathroom. Once I’m all changed, I come back into the main room. Draco’s head is cocked.  
“Take your shirt off.”  
“What?”  
“I said, take your shirt off,” he says sternly.   
“I quite like my shirt on, thank you very much,” I say, wandering across the room.   
“You look better in mine.” He takes off his own shirt, revealing his muscled body, and hands it to me. Cautiously, I take it, and head toward the bathroom.  
“You can just change here, I don’t mind,” Draco says.   
“Okay, fine, but turn around,” I say. I start to take off my shirt, but his eyes are still on me. “Turn around!” He chuckles, and turns his head.   
I pull the fabric over my head, and notice that the bra that Draco had grabbed for me was the nicest one I owned. Same as the underwear. I tug his shirt over my face, and breathe in the familiar smell of his musk while buttoning up the material. I also decide to take off my shorts, because his shirt is basically a dress on me.  
“Okay, you can turn around now,” I say, facing him. But he’s already facing me.   
“I told you not to watch!” I argue.  
“I couldn’t help myself!” he says laughing. I smile, crawling next to him in his bed. He places his hands on my hips, and adjusts me so my legs are around his waist. We share an intimacy as our eyes search each others.   
“What did I ever do to deserve you?” Draco asks, pulling me closer to his pelvis. My heart beats faster. Slowly, he unbuttons my shirt, revealing my skin. I’m left sitting there, on top of him, in only my underwear. I feel vulnerable. I don’t want him to see my scars. I try to cover up with the sheets of his bed, but he notices quickly. Ripping the sheets out from under my hands, he finally takes a good look at me.   
“Draco,” I persist, but he stops me.   
“Don’t you ever fucking hide this from me,” he says. He kisses each and every scar, making me stiffen with each connection. His fingers trace over my shoulders, down to the small of my back. His fingers slip under the seam of my underwear, making me shiver. He notices.  
“Have you never been touched before?” he asks, drawing patterns across my back. I let out a short breath, giving him the answer to his previous question. He’s cautious of where he places his hands, making sure that I feel secure. My breath is shaky. I place my own hands on his chest, caressing his body with my touch. I follow every rivet of his abs, tracing his muscles. The tenseness of his body makes me uneasy. But I know I want to do this. I trace my fingertips over his forearm, and he shudders. Finally, I meet his face, and connect my mouth to his. Our mouths move in perfect harmony, moving passionately around each other. Our lips fit together perfectly. His fingers draw up my back, slipping underneath the straps of my bra. I shutter, letting out a small moan into his mouth. He lurches my body closer. We kiss each other harder as he unclips the back of my bra. It falls in front of me, and suddenly I feel vulnerable. He whispers my name into my ear, with such a rasp that is making me want more and more.   
“I need you, Catie. God, you’re too good for me,” he growls. He lays down, and flips over me so I’m suddenly underneath him. He kisses my neck, making me whimper. I can feel his weight on top of me. He thrusts himself on top of me, telling me dirty things in my ear. A strange smile comes across his face. His thumbs grow closer and closer to the seam of my underwear, pushing them down my legs. My body goes stiff.   
“Draco,” I whisper in his ear. He goes harder, faster almost.  
“Draco please,” I repeat. He stops suddenly, sensing that I’m uncomfortable.  
“Did I do something wrong?” he asks. I roll over and sit myself next to him. His chest rises and falls, making his abs stretch. I grab the forgotten shirt on the bed and hastily button it back up onto my body.  
“No no no you didn’t do anything wrong,” I say, trying to slow myself down. My face turns red, and my eyes well up but I can’t cry. Not now. I want to love him. I want to do this. I want him to be closer. I want him. But something is stopping me.   
“Hey, you okay?” he asks, situating himself to be sitting up.  
“I- uh, I’m sorry,” I say.  
“For what?”  
“I don’t know, I’ve just never done that before,” I explain, crossing my arms over my chest.   
“Oh,” he says.   
“Yeah.” A long silence settles in between us.  
“So you’ve never, you know, done it?” Draco asks abruptly.  
“No, I haven’t,” I respond. “That night in the astronomy tower with you? That was the first time I had actually ever kissed anyone before.”  
“Are you serious?”   
“What?”   
“I was your first kiss?”  
“Yeah, I just said that,” I say.  
“How?” Draco asks dumbfoundedly.  
“What do you mean how? No one has ever really had feelings for me in that way,” I confess.   
“Oh come on, I bet that’s not true,” Draco persists.   
“You heard it here first,” I joke. A moment of silence settles in between us.  
“So the sex thing?”  
“Draco!” I yell, hitting him in the shoulder.  
“Not even with Diggory?”  
“What? No! Of course not,” I argue, turning to face him.  
“Oh, I was sure you two were hooking up, well, when you weren’t talking to me.”   
“No, nothing ever happened between us,” I explain. “But he did kiss me once.”  
“When?”  
“A while ago, I dunno,” I say, trying to veer off the topic.   
“Why?” he pesters.   
“Does it matter? It was a long time ago.”  
“I guess not, I was just wondering,” Draco says, defending himself. The quiet is back. I lay down, pressing my back against his chest. His arms wrap around me, and he starts to play with my hair. At this moment, I don’t want anything to ever change.   
“Draco?” I say in a small voice.  
“Yes?” he says.   
“Thank you, for everything,” I say. My eyes swell up again, and tears fall from my face. My body shakes, and he pulls me in tighter.   
“Yeah, of course,” he whispers. He kisses the back of my neck, his warm lips electrifying my whole body. He turns me over to face him, and he breathes in. Wiping my tears, he kisses me softly. I never want to leave here. For the first time in a while, I feel somewhat secure.


End file.
